The Quietude of Your Home

“Thank God, O women, for the quietude of your home, and that you are queen in it. Men come at eventide to the home; but all day long you are there, beautifying it, sanctifying it, adorning it, blessings it. Better be there than wear a queen’s coronet. Better be there than carry the purse of a princess. It may be a very humble home. There may be no carpet on the floor. There may be no pictures on the wall. There may be no silks in the wardrobe; but, by your faith in God, and your cheerful demeanor, you may garniture that place with more splendor than the upholsterer’s hand ever kindled.” — Rev. T. Dewitt Talmage, D.D.

It’s a picture from the pages of a Grace Livingston Hill novel. Those books gave me a vision for home and family. I could not successfully aspire to it in the modern age, but I hope I have adapted some of it to my life as a wife and mother.

Is your home quiet? I don’t think the author of that quote is criticizing the happy noise of children. I believe he is referring to the invasion of the home by the stresses of the outside world – a blaring television when we need some quiet, over-activity that interferes with the unity of family, a discontent and critical wife, whining and poorly-behaved children…

The author commends the woman’s faith in God and her cheerful demeanor. I always told my sons that when considering a wife, a cheerful disposition is better than physical beauty.

Does your husband look forward to opening the door after a day at work? Does he step into a good place filled with loving people who welcome him gladly? Is the noise cheerful and productive, or is he met with stressful confusion and complaint?

One of my favorite quotations about homecoming husbands:

“Always be at least as glad to see him as the dog is.”

Make your home a good place… a place where your family will be glad to open the door. A respite, a haven, a place to come home to.

Gratitude

Life changes – drastically, sometimes suddenly, sometimes gradually. Some things are lost, some things pop up. Some things are recovered and renewed. God is eternal and never apart from us. He will never leave us or forsake us, in the good times and the fearful times and the times of pain.  A solid rock.

Really Retired

I’ve been cleaning the office, and I finally tackled the file cabinets. There were six very full drawers. Not all of it was homeschooling. There were quilting class records and patterns, and I saved some of that in my sewing room. I will have to organize that room later.

In general, I am not a packrat, but the file cabinets are different. Out of sight, neatly organized, out of mind. But I finally sat on the floor and sorted the wheat from the chaff. I reduced our six STUFFED drawers to one not-quite-full drawer (not counting my quiltmaking records, which will be in the sewing room.)

The biggest, most emotionally-charged project…

Today I reduced the last ten years – 8 years of homeschooling – to four folders. One for Alex, one for Matthew and one with some artwork. For each of them, I saved some assignment sheets from each year, some writing, some tests, and whatever else looked interesting.  I am embarrassed to admit that I don’t know who did the artwork in the last folder. If the guys don’t know, I will probably throw that folder out, too. The last folder contains some of the paperwork that I want to hang on to “just because.”  There is Marcelyn’s unit study on Rome and Kysa’s plan for Astronomy. Pat H’s ideas for a unit study of Greece. There is a lot of the manly poetry that I collected and had the boys read and use for speech.  The infamous “Bean Jar”  Bible verses we used as correction, reproof and training in righteousness, by Mary Leggewie. A plan for a library scavenger hunt and some dictionary exercises, from Beverly. How Laura Jean taught her son to write a 5-paragraph essay. A worksheet for connecting geography and cultural studies to literature. A worksheet for discerning an author’s worldview. Mini unit study outlines associated with different holidays. An explanation of the dubious origins of Labor Day. A commentary on the Declaration of Independence. A booklist for learning about Rome. A list of “important things to know” about the geography of the world. If you are a homeschooler, you know exactly what I am talking about.

Ok, I guess I am not counting the 40 spiral notebooks, 12 binders, and at least 10 filled consumable books (including some of Brad’s, dating from 1989). I am not even going to discuss the textbooks and other materials still sitting on our shelves. After all, we might want those again someday! But all the paperwork that was in the file cabinet drawers has been reduced to those four folders.

Matthew was done with high school two years ago, but he has still been here while attending the local community college. On Sunday, we will take him to the university and he will move into a dorm room.  The nest will be empty for a few weeks and then we will have Alex and Jennie (and the baby) back with us. But life is a-changing.

Multiplication

Our cup sure is running over lately.   In eleven weeks, we will greet our second grandchild – another girl!  And just this week, we learned that we have been blessed again, and Brad and Renee will have a baby in the spring.  God is so good!

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary!

When we were first married, 25 years seemed like a long time! Somewhere along the way, it became “more than half of my lifetime.” Now it just seems normal.

Our 25th Wedding Anniversary Trip

I know you are all dying to know! 

Before we go on our official “honeymoon”, we are spending two nights with my husband’s aunt in northern Indiana. He has been very concerned that we would lose touch with his mother’s family now that she is gone, and this will put us in a good starting position. While we are there, we might visit Amish Acres/Nappanee, but probably we will just “visit.” Aunt Mary lives on the river, and we can use her boat. So it will be a nice trip.

On Monday, we start our real trip. We are spending Monday and Tuesday nights in THE MOST GORGEOUS bed and breakfast…

In this suite:  http://www.burligrave.com/william-rouse-suite.html . (Be sure to click on the links!)  It is so totally US.   Just look at that bathroom!  That two-person jacuzzi tub has a waterfall shower head!  And the porch is ours, too.

On the second day at that bed and breakfast, we will be going  to the Creation Museum, near Cincinatti. That is the only place DH really cared about going, and I guess I have to consider his desires, too.  Then we will be back at the B&B for another night.

After that, we are going further into Kentucky to the Daniel Boone National Forest, where we are renting a cabin on a beautiful 8300 acre mountain lake.

The cabin has electricity and all that… it’s even air-conditioned! LOL – not exactly “roughing it” . It’s less than a mile from a large sandy swimming beach.

We are staying here for two days, hiking and swimming. It’s so green and beautiful, and I really wanted mountains!

Daniel Boone National Forest, named for Kentucky’s most famous explorer, spans 692,536 acres in southeastern Kentucky. Activities include camping, backpacking, hiking, bicycling, horseback riding, fishing, swimming, boating, canoeing, white-water rafting, birding, and botanizing.

“Botanizing” sounds mildly risque, doesn’t it? I guess it’s a new verb meaning to look for and at plants, huh?

 

This image stock website had a few pics of the forest:

Obviously, we won’t see all 692,000 acres in the two days we are there, but it will be VERY nice to be in the wilderness again.

Then for the last night of our “honeymoon”, we are going to a Bed and Breakfast in Leavenworth, IN.  This is in southern Indiana, in some rolling hills on loop of the Ohio River.  Our room has a private balcony and overlooks the river:

It’s a touristy town. There is nice hiking there, too, but we are only staying one night, so we won’t have that much time to explore. Their breakfast is actually served in a separate restaurant, which has an even more breathtaking view of the river and woods.

So that’s the end of our official vacation, but we are too far away to drive home in one shot, so we are spending a night with my friend Lori along the way and will go to church with her in the morning before driving the last 6 hours home. That will be so fun! 

It was hard to decide what to do, but we are both very excited with these arrangements and grateful for the opportunity.

The View From My Window

Psalm 16:5-7

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
       you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
       surely I have a delightful inheritance.

 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
       even at night my heart instructs me.

 Like David, I have had this blessing.  We have always lived in beautiful and interesting places.  The memories of mountains, lakes, gardens, forests, and farmland are a blessing to me. When we moved to town three years ago, I was heartsick. I am ashamed of the bitterness and resentment that consumed me then. I should have been grateful. God moved us to a big Victorian house in the best part of town.  It is on a little triangle of land, bordered by three streets.  On this triangle is the Episcopal church  (a BEAUTIFUL old building), a day care center run by the church, another house owned by the church and intended to house refugee families sponsored by the church, and our home, which is the old parsonage, now a rental property of the church. 

Thus, we have a small front yard and side yard. Our other side and back “yards” are the parking lot for the church and day care center. Traffic is heavy. There is a dumpster – one of my favorite perks of this location, actually, but it’s not exactly a picturesque view.  The day care center is very loud in the summer, and it’s not just the pleasant noise of children at play. I am afraid that the workers are not always very gentle and kind.

Aside from the parking lot sides of the house, the views from the windows are not unattractive. It’s a nice old neighborhood with mostly Victorian houses. Some are the Cream City brick, and some have beautiful wrap-around porches. They are well-maintained, with nice yards and established trees. 

But I have missed the peaceful, private vistas we had in so many other places. My porch is perched on the edge of a busy parking lot.  From other, long ago porches, I have watched horses in the misty fields, lakes in every season and mood, dappled light through the forests, majestic mountains across the valley, chickens pecking in the dewy grass, acres of perfect European gardens…

Now, when I sit at my computer desk in my kitchen, my ears are filled with the noises of the city, but this is the view from my window:

 

 

Is there anything better to rest my eyes upon?

 

 The stone the builders rejected
       has become the capstone;

 the LORD has done this,
       and it is marvelous in our eyes.

This is the day the LORD has made;
       let us rejoice and be glad in it.          Psalm 118:22-24

 

… my eyes have seen your salvation, 
  which you have prepared in the sight of all people, 
 a light for revelation to the Gentiles 
   and for glory to your people Israel.    Luke 2: 30-32

 

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.   Hebrews 12:2

Surely this view from my city window is more beautiful than anything in God’s creation. My heart is filled with gratitude at the sight of that empty cross. More than just pleasant to the eyes, my very soul is satisfied.

A honeymoon? Now?

For our 25th wedding anniversary, our son and his wife initiated a fund drive to send us on a vacation. Our other children became involved and collected money from all of our friends and family.   It was a well-kept secret. They did eventually tell their dad, since we were talking about cancelling his planned vacation time.

They collected a large sum of money and want us to spend it on a vacation – no camping and no visiting friends. Just the two of us.  We never did get a honeymoon, and our last family vacation was in 1990. I have enjoyed the dreaming and idea-kicking stage of the planning, but we really need to make plans soon. I have a wonderful husband who will do whatever makes me happy. He did say “nowhere HOT”, but later that was qualified. We can go somewhere hot if it is a beach location. No Arizona or Grand Canyon trip. (That wasn’t on my list, anyhow.)

I am still taking suggestions. When someone posts a link, I check it out and bookmark it to show Pat. We can’t go out of the United States, because I don’t have a passport. I’m not about to use any of our vacation money to get one right now, and there are plenty of places to visit in our own country.

I am very frugal by nature. I would rather have two weeks of a frugal vacation (I like camping!) than five days of a more posh vacation. I am not into expensive restaurants, either. I just want to go away for ten days or two weeks.

And yet… I would prefer a mildly adventurous vacation – hiking, caving, parasailing, snorkeling, or something else energetic that we don’t normally have the opportunity to do. As I wrote in my last post, I don’t find “laying around” to be relaxing or fun.

So at this point I am still taking suggestions! In fact, I want suggestions. I have a lot of phone calls and notes to make, thanking people for their gift, but I would like to have a plan to share with them when I do it. I am so overwhelmed and excited that I haven’t been able to pin down a plan.

BTW -  We are waiting on God for transportation… our car has stopped running, but we know that God has a plan. Since He seldom miraculously heals vehicles, we have taken the car to the mechanic and are praying for a cheap fix. It’s a very old car, but it’s ours – we don’t owe money on it.

How lazy are you?

When I opened the Facebook site this morning, I saw a new game called “How lazy are you?” Both of my beloved daughters-in-law had taken the poll, but I won’t post their results.   I never do those things, so I can’t tell you how I would have scored.

Some of my friends think I am too hyper. I probably do have OCD problems with the idea of relaxing. I “can’t just sit there.”  I’m pretty good during church, if I take notes, but it’s acceptable to knit during Sunday school, isn’t it? Last night, during the movie Pat and I watched together, I mended two shirts and worked on the socks I am knitting for him. I listen to books on tape while I sew or do housework or walk/run or drive. Yes, I wore my ipod at the doctor’s office and while grocery shopping yesterday. (Listening  while grocery shopping was a mistake, though. I need to engage my mind for that.)  I do chores while I talk on the phone (which I seldom do.)   I only read at night, since I can’t read and do something productive at the same time.  I begin to understand the value of the rosary beads while praying…

If my hands and my mind are not occupied, I feel guilty and lazy.  Maybe I have attention deficit disorder. It’s all selective, though. When I am teaching a class, I can focus on the activities of twelve women at once and catch every single unclosed rotary cutter.

But that doesn’t mean I am not lazy. I spend too much time on the computer. Online, I can work on my website or post on forums. I can check out all the money-saving websites.  Offline, I can edit pictures or fine-tune the budget or type out Bible study questions. Draft quilts, do the math and write patterns. Or post on blogs.  

Sometimes laziness is diguised as “busy work” – things I do instead of the things I probably ought to be doing.  I don’t like to go out much, so I postpone the shopping trip by spending hours making menu plans, bargain hunting online, sorting and selecting coupons, making lists…

The funny thing is, I don’t like video and audio at the same time, especially if it’s very loud. Sometimes our (very good) worship music at church is so loud that I feel as if I am being bombarded. That may be why I do handwork during movies – to keep my eyes off of it and eliminate the video at least.

That’s probably how I developed a seizure disorder.

I need to develop the ability to “just do it”. One thing at a time, with my full attention, and let myself hear the voice of God instead of cluttering up my mind and hands so all I hear is static. I think it might be getting worse.

Can you be still and know that He is God? That He is speaking? Are you drowning Him out with the static of life? The peace that passeth understanding is available to us. Are you basking in the light or are you so busy with all the works that you don’t have time for the grace?  The best of good intentions are still filthy rags. Let us let God be God.

Stress and Spirit-led Self-Control

Many of us have allowed stress or monthly hormonal changes to be an excuse for all kinds of emotional and physical behaviors: anger, uncontrolled eating, irrational weeping, lashing out at others…

And yet, God created those hormones and allows that stress. Even in a fallen world,  there is no justification for succumbing to it. Look at Moses. In his frustration, he struck that rock with his stick. We can all identify with that feeling.  And yet, that little snit cost him dearly. He never entered the Promised Land.

Uncontrolled emotion and rash responses to internal and external stimuli cloud our mind. Even when other people hurt us, and our reactions seem justified, we are called to respond in a different manner. Self control – even serenity – is a fruit of the Spirit. Good and kind and loving and gentle…

 1 Peter 4:7,8

Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Galations 5:14,15, 22-26

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. …

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Rather than giving way to destructive and unproductive behaviors and thoughts, be steadfast, fixing your mind on Him. He brings the perfect peace. Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

In Matthew 5:8 and 22, Jesus talks about being pure in heart. Our very thoughts, as well as our words, have consequences.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. …

But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

We have the ability, through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, to overcome these things. We have responsibility, too.  There is direction for us in Scripture:  Philippians 4:8,9

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

We don’t make our own peace of mind. We must “be clear minded and self-controlled so that we can pray”, however, and allow the Holy Spirit to work in us, bearing the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Obviously, I am not talking about genuine grief in response to loss or pain. Jesus wept. God made us loving and emotional, but we must not give in to the dark, destructive thoughts and behaviors. Turn to God in that grief and He will bring you perfect peace.