Over the years, I’ve tried very hard to encourage integration in the various church fellowships to which we have belonged. I still believe it’s very important. Vital to any community with hope for a mature future. It was one of the best things about homeschooling. Our modern culture insists on grouping children into convenient clusters, separated by age and comprehension level, for easier teaching and occupation/entertainment. Instead of stretching immature learners, we just keep them at their own level of understanding, never pushing for more. We have “markers” for what should be expected at certain ages. Unfortunately, some churches actually perpetuate this, encouraging parents to send their children to Sunday school while the adults attend the worship service. Family worship in the home is all but obsolete, reduced to prayers at meals and bedtimes. If we don’t stop isolating specific age groups, we never have true nuclear families, let alone extended families.

On the other hand, there are practical, natural forms of segregation for scheduling purposes. Families with young children are not available for social activities or Bible studies after the children’s bedtimes or during school hours. Stay-at-home moms find it easiest to socialize with other stay-at-home moms, during non-nap hours, when the children can play while the moms visit. Married couples and parents may not want to do many weekend activities because it cuts into the only time they have with their spouse and family. In our busy world, we have to make careful decisions about the use of our “free” time. Sometimes the segregation is simply a matter of interests. Men and women often have different interests. A study of workplace evangelism or Biblical parenting may not be of interest to a college student or a retiree – or perhaps those particular studies may not be the best use of their limited time. A multi-generational meeting with many children running around can get too loud and distracting for some people. There are exceptions to all of those examples, of course.

The main problem with the integrated church is that the people over 50 are always expected to be teaching. It is good and Biblically correct for that to happen, but it usually fails to make any arrangement for the “care and feeding” of the older people. A ministry to shut-ins is excellent, of course, and meeting the physical needs of the elderly is important. Absolute integration, however, often fails to address the spiritual interests and needs of that age group. From my observations, studies and sermons and the format of the worship service are often directed toward young adults and families. In spite of the flood of baby boomers at or approaching retirement age, there is little attention paid to that stage of life. It’s a time of great personal change, but instead of being encouraged to explore this new stage of life, learning what God wants us to do here and now, we are expected to turn around and teach, as if we are “done” with the really important stage of life.

Youth is nice, but really, it’s just “youth.” It’s just one stage of life. At 50, according to current life expectancies, we are only halfway through our adult life. Often, it’s a major turning point in life. Right in the middle of it, done with raising kids and with much more to come. We are not done learning. Our opinions and preferences are valid and worthy of consideration. They are not outdated or even old-fashioned. Even if the younger people are interested in learning from us, we are not only there to teach them. We are still learning and growing. Our interests are very different now, as we learn to be married without children, start new careers, ministries or hobbies, or as we become elderly or are caring for our own elderly parents. Our interests and our needs are changing. We are seeing new vistas and opportunities. Don’t relegate us exclusively to the position of teachers to the youth, as if our current age is not just as vital a stage of life as childhood or young parenthood.

So a good “integration” actually includes some segregation. It isn’t just about young families, ending at the empty nest. It’s about the entire span of the life God gives us. Beyond issues of age, it includes single people, people with hurting pasts and presents, and people who are alone outside of their church family. It’s nice to include them all in one large, integrated family, but that family is made up of individuals with different needs and interests. Everyone is as important as his brother and sister. We have to be careful to remember that. It’s not all about 20-somethings or all about 70-somethings or all about children or all about college students. It’s unified diversity!

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